Do you know who benefits MOST from forgiveness? YOU!
Forgiveness – Another Way to Increase Positivity
Hi, this is another in the series on increasing positivity. This session is on one topic – forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of my favorite topics because it has helped me so much in my life and is critical in helping you live your highest life.
So, when people treat you wrong, it is very easy to get ticked off and hold a grudge. You have a hard time forgiving someone, especially if what they did was extremely hurtful or devastating. Some people refuse to forgive because they think forgiveness is about the other person and that somehow the other person benefits from you forgiving them. But, forgiveness is not really about the other person, it is about you. Letting go of unforgiveness will bring you peace and allow you to move on with your life. Sometimes it might positively impact the other person, and if it does, that is a plus. But the main reason for forgiveness is to free yourself from the bondage that it brings.
One of the things I want to make clear is that forgiving another person does not always mean that person stays in your life. It could be that they may have moved away, are too adversarial to stay in contact with, have passed away (died), or some other reason. In these cases, you don’t even have to let them know you are forgiving them. Depending on the hurt caused and the resulting situation, you might not speak with or trust them again. As I said before, to forgive them is for you to increase the positivity in your life. It is about YOU!
I know it’s hard to imagine, but even horrific crimes can be forgiven. I heard a woman on the radio talk about how she had forgiven her rapist; another had forgiven a murderer and the list can go on. As for me, I had to forgive someone for betraying my trust and hurting me and my family so very deeply, but I knew that forgiveness was the only way we would all be free and could move on, so we did it.
Some ways you can intentionally forgive someone can be through writing a letter. You can write the letter as if you plan on sending it to the other person. Talk about how what they did made you feel. Take your time and get it all out. Write about how you are no longer going to allow them space in your head and that you forgive them for what they did to you.
When you finish writing, seal up the letter in an envelope and put their name on the front as if you were going to mail it – but DO NOT mail it! Either burn the letter or throw it away (shred it or tear it up first!). You don’t want this getting into the wrong hands. It does not have to actually be read by the person you are forgiving. This exercise is to help you get past the pain and chains that are holding you back as a person.
If you find you can't forgive on your own, you may want to talk with a professional, such as a therapist, counselor, minister or rabbi. Therapy can really help you get past this hurdle. Especially if the person committed a serious crime, if you have been abused, or if it’s been a long period of time since the situation. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. I have been in therapy off and on for years and will probably always take advantage of it. It takes a strong person to realize when they need help and then to go get it.
Once you have forgiven the other person, you will feel like a weight has been lifted, or chains have been broken off of you. Grudges are not healthy for you and they in no way affect the other person. Holding a grudge is like you drinking poison and hoping the other person is going to die. When you bottle up negative feelings, you can also increase your risks of developing heart disease, high blood pressure and other health conditions. You tend to age faster as well because you are holding all that anger, rage and pain in, causing yourself to be in a tense state at all times. Not forgiving others can dim your overall outlook on life, too, so stop putting yourself through all of that! Just stop it!
Remember that forgiveness is not necessarily about the other person, right? It is about increasing the positivity in your own life. So free yourself today by forgiving others for the wrongs they have done to you. And, even more importantly, forgive yourself! Forgive yourself for anything you think you may have done to contribute to it. Forgive and move on to your highest life!
Now, you will want to listen to this again and again, until it really sinks in. Because this is vital to your survival! I’m blessed to share this with you.
So, until next time, I’m Karen Denise and you can get my free ebook at the link below, askgiggy.com. Receive this gift and learn of another way to increase your positivity! God bless