What Actually Happened Tonight?

man pinching nose

I had the privilege of speaking on Kelly McCausey's 2016 Hot Summer Series tonight.  I was so blessed that so many people showed up and were engaged in the discussion we had on stinkin' thinkin'.

I shared where the stinkin' thoughts possibly originated and how to deflect and get rid of them for good.  I did not give some 'pie in the sky' solution, but was honest and shared that it takes time and effort to change old habits and paradigms, but that it can be done.

The session was great!  Lots of engagement from the audience and Kelly's moderation skills were priceless.  When it was over, I left with a plethora of positive comments, encouragement to continue and a shout out from Kelly on my new course, Face Forward - No More Walking Through Life Backwards.  It could not have been better.

I then received emails and text messages from friends and family telling me how proud they were and how well I did.  Perfect evening, right?  girl dancing

Well, not quite.  Just as I told them about stinkin' thinkin' and how it creeps in on us or hits us in the face, I had my own acting out of old paradigms.

And then this happened...

I found myself in the kitchen, frantically trying to find something  to eat - anything, hopefully sweet - to satisfy this 'feeling' inside.  It was a nagging, gnawing feeling of 'I must put something in me; have to eat something'.  So, I settled on what I thought was Vanilla Oreos in a cup and an Atkins Dark Chocolate Royale Shake.

I came back to the computer to write a blog that I had already started.  However, instead, I did what I just told my audience to do today - stop and THINK!  I looked at the cookies (which turned out to be Mini Nilla Wafers (argh, no creme inside; must have been left by one of the grandkids) and asked myself, why am I wolfing these barely tasty cookies down?  What is the purpose of eating right now when I am not even hungry?

BAM! The answer came just like that!  This is stinkin' thinkin' that has morphed into stinkin' performingwoman thinking!  This is a 'silent but deadly' thought that is so engrained in my subconscious that I didn't even hear it - all I did was react to it.

Well, no more!  No more will I immediately go eat something after a win, or a great success.  And, I will pray for revelation of the source of this stinkin' thinkin' that drives me to do this. And, I believe I will get the answer.

So, take it from one who has been working on herself for decades - changing old habits is not easy, but changing old habits is possible.  And, as I continue to learn and grow, I will continue to be transparent and tell you about it. That helps to break us free.

Because, just as I believe in you, I know you also believe in me!


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